The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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