Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
