I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
