We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
