chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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