return my video game
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
