I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm at about main and main street
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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