Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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