i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
