I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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