i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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