The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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