You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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