there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
