I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
