He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the gays at disneyland are vicious
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
