just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
