I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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