She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
