Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me

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(251): View more from Alabama

I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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(913): View more from Kansas

He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.

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(727): View more from Florida

Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke

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