well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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