the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
