I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
