sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Operation Purity has been aborted
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
