I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize