Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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