Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
