I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
