Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
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I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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