How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.