the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
