you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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