Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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