My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
