direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
