Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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