Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
