im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
