can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
