Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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