Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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