I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
