How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
