can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
