Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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