I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize