i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
