Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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