Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
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I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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