If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
