We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
