It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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