my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
