a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it was like eating out sand paper
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
