I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
