so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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