ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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