sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
