just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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