Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
