Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
