What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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