So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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